1 January 2001
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stuck -|-
flip. -|-
musings of señor prod. -|-
or drawn gravitationally
A thought just came into my head as I was trying to decide what to write: I shouldn't think
about Mariet as much as I do. And I shouldn't be sitting here trying to thing of something
to write while I'm feeling the way I do (physically), as I've been imagining the most horrible
things. I wonder why I worry so.
To be completely honest, I don't know if she's even alive. And, unlike Michelle C. (who, as
well, comes to mind perhaps too often), I have cause to fear that she's dead. But all this
is, probably, a story best untold.
Anyway, this is about getting stuck. Perhaps it's a slight obsessive/compulsive tendency
kicking in, perhaps it's a touch of good old-fashioned depression, but I tend to focus,
and focus intently, on certain (mainly bad) things. I make bricks of marbles, I make fire alarms
of cooking timers.
And I think of Mariet. And Michelle C. And on and on.
However, this tendency is not always a negative trait: when in this state, I can recall things,
details, even better than usual; my tape runs in higher resolution mode as well, I store
memories with sharper clarity, admittedly, primarily the cause of that focus with a higher
relief than other details...
... and counting
Last night, while the Million Dollar Gods, Pedalmakers, etc., etc., etc., were making a
rude noise on Amy's Downey roof, the recently-declared Dr. Bruce went to watch the
Smoking Sign flip.
Near the intersection of Veteran and Santa Monica in West LA, there is a large sign with a
digital display which says something to the effect of "Number of Deaths This Year Caused by
Smoking: [n] and Counting."
Dr. Bruce went out to watch the sign flip from somewhere near 420,000 to zero, and to his
surprise, there was a crowd of about 15-20 people out there to watch it as well. By the
time I drove by on my way home (about 1:07 am), that number was at 55.
musings of señor prod.
The Revolution will not be televised.
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